time and energy

Time and energy.

Two resources that limit us all.  Kind of rate-limiting factors if you will.

A kind person reminded me of this recently because I am so often anxious to do so much.  But... I am human and I only have so much time in my day.  I only have so much energy, energy that has to be split up among many things.

My 365 project is on hiatus right now and obviously has been for awhile.  I gave myself permission to step away from it as my energy needs to be directed elsewhere these days.

There are more important projects calling my name... more important skills to work on, ways to grow, strengths to cultivate.  And these tasks are keeping me extraordinarily busy these days.  So for now, I take pause from the My 365 project.  But I am sure I will begin it again in the future when I can focus some time and energy towards it.

Start Close In... small victories in the slow and quiet

I'm still taking my photos but not posting them here in the abyss much (or at all).  I miss the posting and so  will be trying to take the first step to get back to it.

Tonight I am rejoicing in a small (and somewhat silly) victory.  In my yoga class tonight, I finally figured out the trick to crow.  More than that, I felt it.  I felt how it should be done.  I felt the difference in my body, my balance. Such a subtle shift of my weight made a world of difference.  And I held crow.  Not for very long, mind you.  But I was there.  Baby steps.  Letting go.

There has been a lot going on lately.  It's still my great 'slow down' as I was affectionately calling it a month or two ago.  Of course it isn't so slow.  But it has been quiet.  So some slowness and some quiet.  And I have found that the combination has been good for my soul.  I need more, I'm almost craving it.  There are other things I'm longing for as well and perhaps I'm on sort of a mission to find them.  Simplicity.  Impact.  Inspiration.  Gratitude.  Balance.  Letting go (forgiveness?).  During this slow and quiet time, I will continue to cultivate those and other things.  I will continue to seek wise counsel and to laugh with friends.  After all, sometimes there is magic in the chaos.

I heard this poem a few weeks ago and I really like it... maybe you will too.

---

Start close in

---

Start close in,
don't take the second step
or the third,
start with the first
thing
close in,
the step you don't want to take.

 

Start with
the ground
you know,
the pale ground
beneath your feet,
your own
way of starting
the conversation.

 

Start with your own
question,
give up on other
people's questions,
don't let them
smother something
simple.

 

To find
another's voice
follow
your own voice,
wait until
that voice
becomes a
private ear
listening
to another.

 

Start right now
take a small step
you can call your own
don't follow
someone else's
heroics, be humble
and focused,
start close in,
don't mistake
that other
for your own.

 

Start close in,
don't take the second step
or the third,
start with the first
thing
close in,
the step you don't want to take.

 

~ David Whyte ~

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Days 86-91 - My 365, How do you measure a year?

Days 86-91
Monday January 9 - Saturday January 14, 2012

This week was crazy busy.  Intense.  Hectic.  Stressful.  Tiring.  Surprising.  Fun.  Unexpected.


A little play on the reflection in the lamp base.  Love.

Take out Thai food.  Yes please!

Today's snow was so peaceful and beautiful.  There wasn't any wind and so it all stayed lined beautifully on the trees.  That might be one of my favorite things about snowfall.  I love the quiet of it and the way it makes the trees look completely different and new.

So far, I have been enjoying the slow down.  Even though it isn't particularly slow.  It's still pretty great.

Three weeks, she sleeps (Days 62-85)

So now it has been three weeks since I've been keeping up to date with my photo project.  Still taking pics for the most part, but haven't felt much like posting.  

Plus I'm feeling a little quiet.  A little reserved.  

And in my head, I keep hearing the song...

3 weeks, she sleeps

through the rain

I've gotta try to keep her dry

or I'm out of ways

self books, love cooks

steel her away

through you know, where you go 

all in a day

Three weeks... catching up.  Kind of.   Days 62-85.

By the way, the Stieg Larsson books were part of the reason I wasn't posting or always taking pictures.  Those books were amazing and they owned me until I finished them!  SO GOOD!  :)

Coming back

I sort of took two weeks off of my project.  Sort of.  I took some pictures.  But definitely not every day.  And I definitely didn't post any of them.

But it was really nice and I enjoyed it.

The funny thing about the last few weeks is that I was so looking forward to a slow down in the pace of life.  A little time to breathe.  When the semester ended, I had hoped all things would slow down.  In the month of December?  Really?  So in the midst of my slow down, I was surrounded by different kinds of to do lists... shopping, errands, driving, family, friends, obligations, traditions.  You know the normal list.

But here I sit, on the other side of all of the holiday craziness.  Some of the tasks I completed, but others went unfinished.  This year I didn't do much baking on my own.  Certainly no cake balls (bummer!).  But my mom made sugar cookie dough and I made those cookies with my dad.  How is that for a new tradition?  That was a special moment.  I didn't do very personalized, thoughtful gifts this year.  But the gifts that I did give were out of a spirit of love and that is all that matters.

It was a good holiday season.

As we anticipate ringing in the new year, I am still reflecting on the year that is coming to an end...

Day 61 - My 365, How do you measure a year?

Day 61:
Thursday, December 15, 2011

I don't know if it is because I'm lazy or not but today is another Pacey picture.  You give him a box and he is ALL about it.  

I went to yoga tonight after work.  Hopefully I can start going more often now (ahh, the slow down).  I had tried a different studio on Sunday (a room temperature studio) but tonight it was back to the hot yoga studio (funk yeah!).  When I first started hot yoga, I wasn't sure if I would like it.  Now, it doesn't seem to feel right if the room isn't at least 95 degrees.  What a progression!  Actually, I feel like my threshold for hot has changed in all my life (time to crank the water heater up!).

Who would have thought hot yoga could be so liberating?

Tonight was a good class even though it wasn't my favorite teacher.   She kept talking about being fully present in the moment (ironic of course, since that is kind of my theme right now).  She talked about how 'the now' is all we have.  Accept your reality, she said.  Be there.  Be in the moment, whether it is busy or still.  Be there and accept it.  Know how it makes your body and mind and heart feel.

If you really accept your reality, only then can you really be in the moment.  Ahhhhhhhh.  It so often comes back to acceptance.  Maybe this is a valid point.  If you accept your reality for what it is, and really own it, then why would you need to be anywhere else?  Besides you'll get there eventually... as it turns out, contemplation leads to action.  Contemplate your moment, accept it, and then follow your desire to act.  Who knows where it will lead?

Day 60 - My 365, How do you measure a year?

Day 60:
Wednesday, December 14, 2011

I'm obsessed with the lights!  But I think I'm getting closer and closer to what I'm aiming for.  I like this one (except for the spot in my camera but you almost can't see it in this photo).

Tonight was a little happy hour work party and we took our Christmas spirit to a new level with our sweaters.  My boss wore a leopard print Santa hat and there was a specially written Christmas carol.  We definitely brought our A-game holiday spirit to the party!

Good times.  :)